Wordless Wednesday

A few thoughts on the lack of qualification for services

Regardless of Ella's professional diagnosis of Aspergers, the school does not recognize her need for services because when they have observed and tested her six ways to Sunday, she does not in any way seem to have need of services. She is flourishing at her school, with no services.

She acts out at home. There is not much doubt that she is on the spectrum if you'd observe her for a day or two at home or out in public. But she keeps all that to herself at school. I can't ask them to make our life at home easier by giving her services that they can't see that she needs. As a matter of fact, the school psychologist told me over and over during her IEP that Ella couldn't possibly have Aspergers because she was social, she used toys appropriately, she didn't have an obsession that overtook normal conversation and focus, and she didn't correct the teacher! Besides, she didnt test on the spectrum when they did an autism spectrum test at school. :-P

I am currently researching what it takes to get a 504 plan in place, to give her just a few modifications that would decrease her anxiety level.

If you have other suggestions, I am open to hearing them... but I did sign the IEP because it seemed very clear to all of us that despite her professional diagnoses of Aspergers, Sensory Processing Disorder, Sensory Modulation Dysfunction, Dyspraxia, and Auditory Processing Disorder that she did not need special ed services that an IEP would cover. Having signed it, my goal is to move forward with preparing a 504 plan and talk more with her teacher.

Ella's IEP meeting

She didn't qualify for services. I have some thoughts on this, since she has diagnoses of:

Aspergers
Developmental Dyspraxia
Auditory Processing Disorder
Sensory Processing Disorder
Sensory Modulation Dysfunction

But.. they don't see it. I can't make them see what she doesn't show them.

I would agree that she masks her anxiety and her lack of understanding about many things at school very well.

I also think she has some processing issues that they don't see, I was truly expecting at least one learning disability diagnosis.

I need some sleep and maybe some more thinking about this before I write more. But I wanted to update and hear any thoughts you might have.

What Encourages Me and the debut of in(courage)!

What encourages you?

I would have to say that what encourages me is community. Intimate community. Knowing and being known. Because I seek to be genuine, lacking pretense, in my life and in my relationships, I value the intimate community of kindred spirits.

A guest pastor at our church this past weekend preached about community. He had some wonderful insights that I will try to paraphrase.

He said:
“Intimacy is a language of commitment, where we move toward each other willing to risk our own hearts. There is no guarantee of acceptance or of being loved well in return.
The security and ability we have to move toward others is founded on the gospel truth found in Christ. God does not relent in his pursuit, he is slow to anger and abounding in love.”


Very many people, very many women that I know, are unwilling to move toward other people and be vulnerable because they have been deeply hurt before, harbor deep shame, have low self worth, and have a huge fear of rejection. I have to admit that I felt that way for a very, very long time. I kept searching for intimacy with men, and had few women I could share deeply with. Through a long and winding journey, I discovered the power and strength and comfort found in having an intimate communion with God. I also discovered that the community I could have with women who would be reciprocal in their sharing was so much sweeter and more encouraging that I ever could have imagined.

C. S. Lewis wrote:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”


In my everyday life, I am blessed to have friends with whom I can be transparent. They accept me in any mood: I can rant, I can be snarky, I can cry, I can scream, I can laugh at and laugh with. The ones with whom I can be the most transparent, who will also build me up, share wisdom, help me discern God’s will in a situation..they are the core of my support system, and the source of my encouragement.

I am enjoying Twitter as well as my first foray into the blogosphere for the variety of women I find, and am developing a support network there as well. Women are willing to be real, to share their struggles honestly and are searching for that same deep connection with other women that I am. I am thrilled to be finding kindred spirits that without the assistance of technology, I might never have found.



What encourages you? Who are your encouragers?

I want to share with you a place where you might just find some new encouragers!

A brand new website, (in)courage, just went live on August 10th. I have been eagerly anticipating its debut, because some of my favorite bloggers and MomTV.com hosts are a part the writing team! They debuted themselves as contributors one by one in a series of blog posts, and it was so fun to follow the journey! Its primary purpose seems to provide a place for Christian women to come together and encourage and be encouraged in a myriad of ways. I am thrilled to become a part of it from the beginning, and I hope you’ll come and join us!

World Breastfeeding Week and a great article by Katie Allison Granju

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I wanted to mention it's objectives and rationale on my blog:

Breastfeeding: A Vital Emergency Response
Are you ready?

OBJECTIVES OF WORLD BREASTFEEDING WEEK 2009

* To draw attention to the vital role that breastfeeding plays in emergencies worldwide.
* To stress the need for active protection and support of breastfeeding before and during emergencies.
* To inform mothers, breastfeeding advocates, communities, health professionals, governments, aid agencies, donors, and the media on how they can actively support breastfeeding before and during an emergency.
* To mobilise action and nurture networking and collaboration between those with breastfeeding skills and those involved in emergency response.

RATIONALE

* Children are the most vulnerable in emergencies – child mortality can soar from 2 to 70 times higher than average due to diarrhoea, respiratory illness and malnutrition.
* Breastfeeding is a life saving intervention and protection is greatest for the youngest infants. Even in non-emergency settings, non-breastfed babies under 2 months of age are six times more likely to die.
* Emergencies can happen anywhere in the world. Emergencies destroy what is ‘normal,’ leaving caregivers struggling to cope and infants vulnerable to disease and death.
* During emergencies, mothers need active support to continue or re-establish breastfeeding.
* Emergency preparedness is vital. Supporting breastfeeding in non-emergency settings will strengthen mothers’ capacity to cope in an emergency.

Having a Twitter ribbon with the breastfeeding logo, or wearing buttons or advocacy t-shirts during WBW is not meant to give lactivists a carte blanche for tooting their "I breastfeed, every woman should breastfeed, and you are LESS THAN if you didn't/wouldn't/couldn't!" horn. I have certainly met those people. I was one of those people back when I had my first child, as a matter of fact. But WBW is in existence to raise awareness of the necessity for it in emergency. I think it also serves to raise awareness in general, which is a nice benefit. There are many myths about breastfeeding, especially why you CAN"T do it or won't be successful at it. With the awareness of facts being highlighted during WBW, I think more people learn the truth about why it is so important.

I want to link you to a post from Katie Allison Granju, an author I have been a fan of since I started having children nearly 10 years ago. She has some true words on breastfeeding these days, and a look back at our not so distant past.

Confessions of a Proud Breastfeeding Zealot



I think she is right on. I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject!

What sets you apart from the crowd?

Really.. how are you different from other people?

There are several ways in which I differ from most of the moms I know. I would like to create a separate blog for some of those issues, and I wanted to introduce a little bit more about myself here.

I am one of "those" mothers.

* I do not vaccinate my children.
(disclaimer, since my blog tends to focus on my daughter with Aspergers. The decision was not based on fear concerning MMR and autism)
* I breastfeed my children until they choose to wean.
* I believe the best and safest place for my baby to sleep is next to me in my bed.
* I believe the best and safest place for me to give birth is at home.
* I did not and would not circumcise my son(s).
* I believe the best place to educate my children is at home.
(another disclaimer: Ella is in public school. I do not think it is the best place to educate her, but it works for us right now)



I used to be a Mary Kay lady. I drive a minivan with cute little stick people stickers on the back. You will mostly find me dressed in flats, capri pants, dressy t-shirts from Target, wearing jewelry and makeup.

But you'd never know looking at me that I was a hippiechick on the inside. I blend in well. I don't seek to blend in, it has just happened that way.

I socialize in person primarily with parents in the mainstream. I've never been on the receiving end of any spoken judgment about my choices, and I've not verbally dished out any judgment onto mothers who parent differently than I do. It may be that I just live in a very tolerant pocket of the universe, but I am "free to be me" and do not have to fear the moms at the park or at church making comments about how weird I am for nursing until past age 2, or having homebirths, or homeschooling my children. I have sought to make friends with other local moms who share my parenting ideals, but have very often found that they have a much more "us vs. them" idea about things, and do not have any friends who parent differently than they do. I was never very adept at making my own style, so I never have dressed the part of the hippy. I don't know how. So I definitely appear to be a mainstream suburban mom in that aspect.

In the next several posts, I will take each of those starred statements and blog about them and why I came to those decisions.

They are, of course, my opinion, and my decision, and do not really affect other people. So while you are welcome to comment about how you believe differently, I can assure you that I have been reading and researching about these topics for the last 10 years and have come to my own educated decision about them. Like I said, I am free to be me.

Other people are other people. Also a great topic to expound upon.

and the hits just keep coming....

So, the difficult week continues. I feel like there must be a black cloud following me around!

Friday morning I opened the refrigerator and two of my corningware dishes fell out and broke on the floor.. they had contained my really yummy seafood pasta that I was excited to have for lunch. I accidentally left my phone at the craft store because I didn't realize it had fallen out of my purse into the cart, then I got pulled over for not stopping completely enough at a stopsign and ticketed!!

This morning, I was leaving with Ella for an errand, and I pulled halfway up our driveway before realizing I didn't have the new Mastercard that came in the mail. I put the van in park, and left Ella inside. I came out, and the van wasn't in the driveway!


!!!!!!

Ella came around the corner of the house, white as a sheet, and said that the van had come out of park and rolled down the driveway and into the fence!

I ran to check, and it had hit our fence.. between two posts, and not affecting the neighbors' fence. Whew!

The van had some superficial scratches above the headlights, but no denting or broken lights. Whew!

I apologized to Ella for the scare, and told her I was glad she was okay. I promised to use the parking brake every time thereafter.

We ran some errands, and our last stop was a garage sale. I found a lazy susan for inside the spice cabinet, an old Tupperware 2 quart container (like my parents made kool-aid in), and a pair of like new white sandals. As Ella and I got in the car, I tried to drive off while her door was still open.

I came home, and decided to lay down for a while. I also decided I shouldn't leave the house while driving again. I thought I might lose a child or get into an accident.

I'm not sure what my problem is. A full week of stressful stuff? Needing a vacation/mental health day? Need to look at increasing my anxiety meds?

What do you think?